Thursday, July 3

"I wanna swim away but I don't know how; sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean."

The past month has been really trying for me. A lot of things in my life just feel like they have been falling apart - friendships, relationships, my career path (or lack thereof)...nothing seems to be what it used to be. I feel myself isolating myself from people or things that I used to love, including my family. A major blow was dealt to my relationship that, needless to say, complicates things quite a bit. On a side note, I have no faith in the judicial system. And while they were "very impressed" with me, the company I interviewed with decided to go with someone who had more experience in graphic design. They offered me some part time contract work this summer (I accepted but haven't heard anything yet) and said they will still need to fill the position later on this year, but I honestly will probably just keep my job at The Wag and concentrate on busting my ass to get into grad school.

I'm going to be 22 in a matter of three weeks, and while that seems old to me, in the grand scheme of things I'm still fairly young. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be dealing with the things I deal with, but then again, I guess this is what they call life lessons. I just wish they had waited a little longer to manifest themselves in my life.

So, as truly shitty as I've felt for the past couple of weeks, I'm just trying to throw myself into things I love: photography, reading, Drake, etc. I'm trying to get out and do things I don't normally do, and I already feel it making a difference. I went kayaking at Up the River Outfitters in Buford for four hours (ten miles!) the other day and got the best sleep I've had in a while. We went camping up at Lake Hartwell Camping and Cabins in South Carolina last weekend, and it was a blast, although I'm still covered in mosquito bites.

I've started an account with flick'r to keep track of my photography. I think seeing regular people (not necessarily "photographers") photography on a regular basis will motivate me to get out there and shoot more. If anyone is interested in checking it out, the address is - leave me some feedback, I love it.

Apologies to my mother, but I am planning on getting another tattoo after my birthday. I am going to get a sailor jerry-style traditional horseshoe tattoo on my right wrist for good luck because, let's face it, I have none. I think I want it to be about pretty small, about 1 1/2" in height, colored blue/black with some white shading. Also, when (when not if) I get my acceptance letter from Ole Miss for grad school, I'm going to get my Faulkner tattoo on my back. I just can't help it. It really is true what they say ... you can't just get one.

All stress aside, I really love nights spent at Northside Tavern.

The end.

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