Tuesday, July 22

"Try Jesus! If you don't like him, the devil will always take you back!"

While I was at the stop light at the intersection at Church Street and North Decatur Road yesterday, I saw this nice little quote splayed on a church sign for all to see. I wanted to take a picture of it with my phone for others to bask in its ridiculousness, but honestly, I was in a pretty big hurry to get to yoga so I sailed on through the light. After sweating my ass off and twisting my body in weird positions for 75 minutes (thanks Hot Core Power!), I headed back home for a much needed sandwich and shower. Again, I passed the sign. On the opposite side, it read "This church is prayer conditioned". Now that's just ridiculous sounding, but the "Try Jesus" on the flip side seemed to stick in my head like a Miley Cyrus song, playing itself over and over and over in all its annoying, nonsensical repetition. "The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down..."

Either way, that sign bothered me. Immensely. So much so that it's about all I could think about for a good couple of hours. It's almost as bad as the sign that reads, "Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out." Really? REALLY? Wow. Both of those really just make me want to get off my atheist ass and go to church because the people seem like they are going to be so warm and welcoming. I hope you can feel the sarcasm dripping off my keys as I type.

Hailing from uber-religious Cobb County, the natural thing for me to do in my last year of high school was to revolt in my own non-violent way and become atheist "just because". Then I went through a handful of philosophy classes in college, found sound logical basis for my arguments, read a lot of Bertrand Russell, "God is dead", yadda yadda. Anyways, the point is I've been an unflinching atheist for a decent amount of years now. Maybe at some point in my life, although hopefully not, I will have a near-death experience and will "find Jesus" in my moment of despair. I highly doubt it, but I have never officially ruled it out. I do know one thing though. Being criticized for having a "too open" mind or basically saying if I "try" and don't like Jesus, I'm going to be sent straight to hell is not going to get me anywhere near a church. In fact, I will run screaming in the opposite direction. I guarantee I'm not the only person that feels this way. Let's say someone from another religion wanted to "try" Jesus, just to see what the whole fuss was about. Is a sign proclaiming that the devil will "take you back" to the clutches of your ungodly, hedonistic religion, which could be anything from Islam to Buddhism, going to make you want to step foot in that church? Mmmm probably not.

Besides, hell and the devil aren't real. Ha.

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