Can I get a little cheese with that whine?

In an effort to not be such a bum out all the time, I'm going to try not to complain as much. Things are definitely looking up. Maybe it's the good luck horseshoe? Not a whole lot has been going on that is blogworthy, but I guess a week's update is due.

Work still blows in a financial sense, but what else is new? The economy is shit right now, so I'm going to not take my job for granted for the time being. There are worse things I could be doing for a living than chilling with friends and dogs in jeans and a tshirt, I suppose.

I'm moving into my basement apartment at the end of the month. I don't have that much stuff, but I need to start packing and cleaning out my house. I've got a ton of ex-boyfriend stuff sitting in my closet in trash bags, plus my laundry room is overflowing with junk. My new kitchen is about half the size of what I have now, so most of my pots and pans will have to go in storage. Not like I cook very much (or at all) anyways. I still need to go over there and paint the bedroom, butI don't think it will be too time consuming. I'm just crossing fingers that it won't be so ungodly hot when it's time to move, but I'm sure it will. Thanks, Georgia.

Brandy's baby shower was yesterday at Mary Mac's Tea Room which, it should be said, is some of the most delicious Southern food I have ever had. Can I take a moment to reflect on that sweet tea and mac-n-cheese? Really now - amazing. Anyways, little Hayden is due in five weeks; I feel just the other day she was telling me and Steph she was pregnant in the lobby of The Wag, and we all were crying. This year really has flown by. Katy brought one-year old Liam to the shower, and he is so adorable - seriously, cutest little boy ever. I think the only reason I like playing with him is because he is older; really little babies kind of freak me out. I always feel like I am going to drop them or hinder their development in some way, ha. Liam rules though; that is definitely a baby I could hang around for more than five minutes.

It kind of stresses me out that I'm already going to baby showers and the like. Don't get me wrong, I love babies (sort of) and everything, but it makes me feel old. I am definitely in no rush at all to have one, but I guess if my friends want to start poppin'em out, I'm cool with that. Plus, I have no idea what to buy. If Danielle hadn't come shopping with me, I would have bought that baby a hoodie for a two year old, like I did for Katy's baby shower. Embarrassing.

I've been loving my Holga. I was really pleased with the way my Oxford pictures came out, and last weekend BT & I went and shot at the abandoned train yard over off of Arizona St / Dekalb Ave. The negatives looked really good, and my prints should be ready tmw. It's the first time I've shot black-and-white with the Holga so I'm interested to see how they are going to look.

All the gold fell out of my horseshoe tattoo. It's healed up nicely aside from that. The gold scabbed really bad, worse than usual, which I guess is why it ended up falling out. I guess I'm just going to leave the middle flesh colored for now. I'm still loving it...probably a good thing since it's going to be there forever and all.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is going to be amazing. Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem on screen together...that's too much sexiness for one person to handle. For serious.

REALLY, Bush Administration? Are you trying to fuck everything up before you leave office? It appears to be that way.

Not to be totally vague and lame, but the past two weeks have been unexpected, unconventional, scary, and amazing all at once. I find myself being more surprised by the day and in the best way possible. Can't remember the last time it was like this. The more I think about it, the more I'm not sure there was a last time.

Everything sounds so much better on my record player.

Rebels '09.

It's funny - ever since I graduated, all I can think about is going back to school next fall. Even though I've still got a year before I plan on going, I still want to be as prepared as possible. Next week my mom and grandma and I are going to visit Oxford and tour Ole Miss (and Rowan Oak!!), and I am so freakin' excited. At first, I was really nervous about choosing the school as my grad school just because it's so far away from everything I know (6 hrs from the ATL); however, it is my only option if I want my MBA in Southern Studies, and I actually think Oxford would be a nice change of scenery. It only has a population of 20,000 (35,000 when school is in session)...a big step down from Atlanta's 5.3 million. The cost of living is pretty low, but the town still has some nice restaurants and bars with live music (Proud Larry's, anyone?), plus a lake nearby and this seemingly awesome bookstore called Square Books. I think I'll be okay there...as long as I get some visits from Atlanta folks, maybe for some tailgating at football games?

The MBA program is really small, and the Center for the Study of Southern Culture seems like it's going to offer a lot of hands on experience and will let me work closely with faculty that might be really helpful in landing a job later on down the road. Plus, they offer courses in documentary fieldwork and photography which I think may be a direction I try and follow once I'm there. Working on a documentary about Southern culture or about Southern writers would pretty much be my dream job.

I am really nervous about getting in though. It is the only grad school I will apply to, more than likely. I graduated magna cum laude from Georgia State so I know my GPA isn't an issue; I'm just not sure how that will really stack up against other people. Plus, I have to take the GRE still, and I'm not totally confident in how I will do - I hate standardized testing (especially analogies), and I haven't had any sort of math class since I was 18. I know can get two good letters of recommendation, and the 500-word statement of purpose won't be a problem. It's just that damn GRE - seriously scares the living daylights out of me.

I'm pretty nervous about what my finances will be like down there. Luckily, Ole Miss's tuition isn't too costly in comparison to other grad schools; if I go full time, out of state tuition in fees will be $5,000 a semester. Once I can claim residency, it will be split in half to about $2,500. Today at work I looked at a bunch of scholarships & grants that I want to apply for, and I'm going to try to get an assistantship so I can get a tuition waiver and maybe a living stipend. I probably will still take out of a loan because if possible, I'd like to be a TA and go to school full-time and avoid working and doing something like waiting tables. I need to check out some financial aid books from the library and fill out FAFSA when its that time. I'm going to try and start saving some money for when I do move, but honestly, it's hard to save money when you hardly make enough to live in the first place...

In non-school related news, as trashy as it is, I Love Money is an amazing show as pure entertainment. Oh, VH1 - always keepin' it classy. Mr. Boston might be the most awkward individual alive. Bless his heart.

Also, big ups to the Braves for winning the record-setting 17 inning game at Turner Field last night! We can always rely on Mark Teixeira to do something amazing and manage to adjust himself more than anyone else on the field while doing it.

Last weekend I went & looked at a basement apartment in a house owned by an Emory grad student in her mid-20s. I really liked the house, and she seemed really nice. It has a private entrance and a fenced in backyard; it's 1200 square feet (twice the size of my apt now), most of which is in the bedroom. I probably will end up buying some room dividers and making one half the bedroom and one half an "office" with my desk and such. It is a hideous salmon color with wood paneling that I definitely am going to paint a more neutral color. The bathroom is bigger than what I have now, and the living room is small but doable. The kitchen is a half kitchen with only a fridge, sink, and very little counter space. However, I am not exactly known for my culinary skills (that'd be Josh's job), so I don't need a big kitchen although if I did, I can use the one upstairs There is no washer/dryer hookup downstairs, but I have full access to the one upstairs. The rent is $75 cheaper than what I pay now, and my utilities would be split three-ways with the other tenants upstairs. I'm definitely going to go with it - this marks the fourth year in a row that I have made a move.

I leave you with one of my favorite pictures of Drake ever. This was on his first birthday last week with his new chicken toy.

"I wanna swim away but I don't know how; sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean."

The past month has been really trying for me. A lot of things in my life just feel like they have been falling apart - friendships, relationships, my career path (or lack thereof)...nothing seems to be what it used to be. I feel myself isolating myself from people or things that I used to love, including my family. A major blow was dealt to my relationship that, needless to say, complicates things quite a bit. On a side note, I have no faith in the judicial system. And while they were "very impressed" with me, the company I interviewed with decided to go with someone who had more experience in graphic design. They offered me some part time contract work this summer (I accepted but haven't heard anything yet) and said they will still need to fill the position later on this year, but I honestly will probably just keep my job at The Wag and concentrate on busting my ass to get into grad school.

I'm going to be 22 in a matter of three weeks, and while that seems old to me, in the grand scheme of things I'm still fairly young. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be dealing with the things I deal with, but then again, I guess this is what they call life lessons. I just wish they had waited a little longer to manifest themselves in my life.

So, as truly shitty as I've felt for the past couple of weeks, I'm just trying to throw myself into things I love: photography, reading, Drake, etc. I'm trying to get out and do things I don't normally do, and I already feel it making a difference. I went kayaking at Up the River Outfitters in Buford for four hours (ten miles!) the other day and got the best sleep I've had in a while. We went camping up at Lake Hartwell Camping and Cabins in South Carolina last weekend, and it was a blast, although I'm still covered in mosquito bites.

I've started an account with flick'r to keep track of my photography. I think seeing regular people (not necessarily "photographers") photography on a regular basis will motivate me to get out there and shoot more. If anyone is interested in checking it out, the address is http://www.flickr.com/photos/meghanyea/ - leave me some feedback, I love it.

Apologies to my mother, but I am planning on getting another tattoo after my birthday. I am going to get a sailor jerry-style traditional horseshoe tattoo on my right wrist for good luck because, let's face it, I have none. I think I want it to be about pretty small, about 1 1/2" in height, colored blue/black with some white shading. Also, when (when not if) I get my acceptance letter from Ole Miss for grad school, I'm going to get my Faulkner tattoo on my back. I just can't help it. It really is true what they say ... you can't just get one.

All stress aside, I really love nights spent at Northside Tavern.

The end.

Is it really already June?

I would have thought with school being done that my life would have maybe slowed down a bit, but if anything, it has only gotten busier. I'm working full-time while simultaneously trying to find another job and get back on track with having a social life again. Honestly, this is turning out to be one of the best summers ever though, so I really cannot complain.

As of right now, I'm anxiously awaiting hearing back from the editorial assistant position I interviewed for last week. Out of 90 responses, they narrowed it down to myself and five other people. I went in for my in-person interview and did some exercises last Thursday, and the head of the company told me I would be hearing back by the end of this week. It seriously is the ideal job for me and super close to my house; I will be seriously upset if I don't get it. Other than that, I interviewed for a job at a non-profit organization yesterday, and while the interview went well, there is no way I will take the job. It's for a great cause, but I can't handle 70-80 hours a week on $24k a year. It looks like it will be back to Craigslist/Monster/CareerBuilders/whatever I can find if the editorial assitant position falls through.

I finally found a record player on eBay, and I love it! It sits on my bar, and depending on my mood, it keeps a steady rotation of either the Beastie Boys' "License to Ill" EP, Nick Drake's "Pink Moon"EP, or Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Cosmo's Factory". I've never been to Kudzu, which is kind of inexcusable, seeing as how it is right behind my current job; they are supposed to have a good selection of vinyl though, so I think I may go over there tomorrow and just browse.

I was hoping I could get back into photography now that school is out, but when it's 95 degrees at noon, I have a really hard time motivating myself to go shoot. I went to The Camera Doctor the other day to have my first roll from my Holga developed, and the owner and his wife were super helpful. I keep leaving the bulb setting on, resulting in almost all my pictures being blurry. I put a roll of black&white in there the other day, so I think I may just bite the bullet and venture out into the heat tomorrow. I want to go shoot the train yard & the mural on Dekalb Ave; they have reopened Oakland finally so I'll be able to go over there as well.

John Smoltz had surgery the other day and is done for the rest of the season - kind of broke my heart a little bit. I hope he can come back next year. All the injuries on the Braves team this year makes me wonder if we did something to piss someone off somewhere - is this karma? I knew things were bad when Peter Moylan had to get surgery early on...then Smoltz and Diaz and Kotsay were placed on the DL...and now Smoltz is having surgery. What is the deal? We have the worst road record in the MLB too - come on! I'm trying to go posteason here, Bobby - whip those boys into shape.

I feel like I have become much more self-aware since the year started. I have had the most time to myself in the past four months than I have ever - living by myself has taught me that it is okay for me to just hang out at night on the futon with Drake and that if I want to go out and have a drink (or two or three) with the girls, that's okay too. I even mustered the balls to tell my mom about my tattoos, and she was surprisingly cool with it. I feel the most content with my life right now than I have in a while, and it really is a great feeling. I just can't believe I will be 22 next month. It seriously blows my mind. I need to go get my license picture changed finally because, needless to say, I no longer am 18 with long brown hair, ha. I just wish I didn't hate the DMV so damn much.

In closing, this is all I have to say:

Summer '08 To-Do List.

School is over with for good, & I will have much more time on my hands.
In no particular order...

• Take lots of day trips, even if it's just driving to South Georgia.
  
• Acquire a Holga & bring along on aforementioned day trips.
• Read, read, read everything I have wanted to in the past 4 years but haven't been able to.
• Lots & lots more yoga.
  
• Steam clean my house. Not exciting, but it needs to be done.
  
• Paint at least one wall in my living room & one in my bedroom.
• Rearrange my living room & buy a bigger couch.
• Find an old record player, and dust off my Nick Drake vinyl.
• Also find an old typewriter (Underwood Standard Portable). Pull a Faulkner, drink too much, and type for hours.
• Take Drake to Bark in the Park, instead of working Bark in the Park.
  
• Hike to the top of Stone Mountain.
• Find somewhere that has paddleboats!
  

I'm sure much will be added to this list in the next few weeks...if I can survive them.