Friday, August 22

To my family and friends, if I die ...

Please, please, please do NOT do this to me. Just cremate me and put my ashes in a little box. You guys can all look at that and realize how awesome I am. Then you can take my remains out and sprinkle them somewhere badass, like Turner Field.

This is greatly appreciated.


Monday, August 18

Obligatory Monday post.

Things just keep getting better and better. Seriously, it must be the horseshoe. Or maybe someone just decided to cut me some slack. I'm the happiest I've been in a very, very long time.

It's so weird that school is starting, and I'm not going back. It's borderline bittersweet. No more $7/day parking down off Decatur Street. No more homeless people hassling my broke ass for money. No more fighting through the plaza during the daily lunch hour rap offs. No more climbing five flights of stairs because the elevators are so damn crowded, it takes ten years to get on one. So yea, maybe that's not such a bad thing...

You know you are getting old when you get excited about things like new towels and sheets. Yesterday I bought these Thomas O'Brien bath towels for the new place, and they seriously are so big and soft. I'm going over to paint tomorrow, and I'm even excited about buying paint. Seriously. What gives?

Girl Talk's new record "Feed the Animals" is awesome. BT was listening to a song last week, and I was pretty into it so I went home and downloaded the rest of it. The way he mixes hip hop with classic rock is awesome; it's unexpected, but it works. It definitely makes me want to start working out again, ha. I think once I get settled in my new apartment and the bank account is done getting a beating, I may join LA Fitness and try and get on a 2x/week routine and work my way up to 3x by winter.

The Olympics have been really great to watch. I wasn't really watching that much of them when they first started, but this past weekend I've gotten really into the swimming, gymnastics, and track & field. It was ill watching Michael Phelps get his 8th medal. I wish I had an ounce of athletic talent in my body, but it looks like it's just always gonna be pen and paper for this kid.

I got my b&w roll from the train yard developed and printed, and they came out pretty good. They aren't as sharp as I'd like them to be, but I think the Holga just isn't a good camera to shoot with no flash indoors without lots of light. I bought four rolls of all different types and speeds of film, both b&w and color, and I'm really excited to go shoot. I need new locations to go though, so I believe a little urban exploration is in store.

BT and I took Drake for lots of walks this weekend, and I'm ashamed to say he is horrible on a leash. Coming to work with me has definitely spoiled him since he doesn't have to go for many long walks on a leash. For being a small dog, he pulls like a freakin' Rottweiler. I need to start getting my Cesar on with him. Last night, we walked around Inman Park to look at all the amazing houses and found that he has an interesting habit; whenever we are walking next to a yard that has a low wall, Drake likes to hop up on it and walk for a few feet then hop back down. It's so silly looking; he is just like a little kid. Best dog ever, seriously.

Tonight is the premiere of the fourth season of The Hills, and Danielle and I are having ladies' night in celebration. That show has been my guilty pleasure for years now, so it's only right that I ring in it's new season in style. We are eating lasagna, drinking beer, being dudes, and eating this for dessert.

Seriously, could it get any better? Doubtful. And this pretty much embodies my weekend:

So content.

Monday, August 11

Can I get a little cheese with that whine?

In an effort to not be such a bum out all the time, I'm going to try not to complain as much. Things are definitely looking up. Maybe it's the good luck horseshoe? Not a whole lot has been going on that is blogworthy, but I guess a week's update is due.

Work still blows in a financial sense, but what else is new? The economy is shit right now, so I'm going to not take my job for granted for the time being. There are worse things I could be doing for a living than chilling with friends and dogs in jeans and a tshirt, I suppose.

I'm moving into my basement apartment at the end of the month. I don't have that much stuff, but I need to start packing and cleaning out my house. I've got a ton of ex-boyfriend stuff sitting in my closet in trash bags, plus my laundry room is overflowing with junk. My new kitchen is about half the size of what I have now, so most of my pots and pans will have to go in storage. Not like I cook very much (or at all) anyways. I still need to go over there and paint the bedroom, butI don't think it will be too time consuming. I'm just crossing fingers that it won't be so ungodly hot when it's time to move, but I'm sure it will. Thanks, Georgia.

Brandy's baby shower was yesterday at Mary Mac's Tea Room which, it should be said, is some of the most delicious Southern food I have ever had. Can I take a moment to reflect on that sweet tea and mac-n-cheese? Really now - amazing. Anyways, little Hayden is due in five weeks; I feel just the other day she was telling me and Steph she was pregnant in the lobby of The Wag, and we all were crying. This year really has flown by. Katy brought one-year old Liam to the shower, and he is so adorable - seriously, cutest little boy ever. I think the only reason I like playing with him is because he is older; really little babies kind of freak me out. I always feel like I am going to drop them or hinder their development in some way, ha. Liam rules though; that is definitely a baby I could hang around for more than five minutes.

It kind of stresses me out that I'm already going to baby showers and the like. Don't get me wrong, I love babies (sort of) and everything, but it makes me feel old. I am definitely in no rush at all to have one, but I guess if my friends want to start poppin'em out, I'm cool with that. Plus, I have no idea what to buy. If Danielle hadn't come shopping with me, I would have bought that baby a hoodie for a two year old, like I did for Katy's baby shower. Embarrassing.

I've been loving my Holga. I was really pleased with the way my Oxford pictures came out, and last weekend BT & I went and shot at the abandoned train yard over off of Arizona St / Dekalb Ave. The negatives looked really good, and my prints should be ready tmw. It's the first time I've shot black-and-white with the Holga so I'm interested to see how they are going to look.

All the gold fell out of my horseshoe tattoo. It's healed up nicely aside from that. The gold scabbed really bad, worse than usual, which I guess is why it ended up falling out. I guess I'm just going to leave the middle flesh colored for now. I'm still loving it...probably a good thing since it's going to be there forever and all.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is going to be amazing. Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem on screen together...that's too much sexiness for one person to handle. For serious.

REALLY, Bush Administration? Are you trying to fuck everything up before you leave office? It appears to be that way.

Not to be totally vague and lame, but the past two weeks have been unexpected, unconventional, scary, and amazing all at once. I find myself being more surprised by the day and in the best way possible. Can't remember the last time it was like this. The more I think about it, the more I'm not sure there was a last time.

Everything sounds so much better on my record player.

Monday, August 4

"And the four right chords can make me cry..."

So, I canceled my appointment with the psychiatrist today. I woke up and thought to myself, "Hey, my life is turning itself around. Mary Jane and I slowly are parting ways, and I don't feel the incessant need to self-medicate anymore. Things are slowly turning themselves around. I think I'm going to be a-okay." Let's just hope that this decision doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass. I honestly would not be surprised if it did though. I guess we will see about that in the next couple of months.

I've pretty much diagnosed myself with my problems; I have a lot of pent up anger towards my mother and a certain emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. As much as he loved to deny it, said boyfriend knew what he was doing when he constantly fucked with my head, but I honestly don't think my mom has a clue. Ever since I hit my twenties, we've butted heads more than we did when I was a teenager. I guess it has something to do with her not wanting to let go, but Christ, she needs to realize I'm pretty alright for a 22 year old. I mean, really. I've got my issues like everyone else, but I like to think I'm pretty well-rounded. Not to turn this blog into a rant about my boyfriend/mom issues - it just all came to a head last night in this crazy vivid dream I had involving my mom and grandma screaming at me to just get to Mississippi and leave them alone. Well, and my brother and his girlfriend were having a baby, and everyone was really excited. That was just weird.

As for the ex, that will just take time to heal...longer than I'd like. It has been six months since we broke up, and, without even talking to him, he still can manage to break me down to nothing. So many cruel words and sketchy actions are ingrained in my head, and I'm just trying to block them out as much as possible. More important than cutting my self-esteem down to nothing and isolating me from the things I love, he also managed to ruin a ton of great songs for me. THANKS. Now I can't listen to "New Slang" or "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" without my stomach churning. I managed to get Nick Drake back for the most part though, so I can't really complain.

Lately I keep thinking about Mississippi and not necessarily in an excited way. Just kind of neutral. A year from today I'm going to be all moved in, anxiously awaiting for school to start. I'm not really second guessing my decision to go to Ole Miss; I just keep feeling like I did everything backwards. Aren't you supposed to go to the city, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, after college? I went when I was 18, and now I'm completely jaded to the whole environment, wanting to leave everything behind for a town with 1/100th of the population I am used to. I guess that works out though. Still, I'm nervous at how I will adjust. No traffic and no smog will be awesome - but no Metalsome and no Northside? Eh. Not so sure about that.

I'm so broke it physically pains me to look at my bank account. I've slowly started paying off my credit card which I'm pretty stoked about, but other than that...not so stoked. I've exhausted my savings paying for my car to actually run smoothly, and I found out the other day I owe my apartment complex $1,055 for not telling them I am moving out sixty days in advance. Nothing surprises me anymore financially. I'm surprised I've controlled my debt as much as I have, but it seriously seems to get worse everyday.

My tattoo is totally scabbed over and disgusting looking. I absolutely hate the healing process. I just want to scrape it all off because, honestly, it looks like some sort of backwoods, prison tattoo right now. I just want the colors to be pretty again.

Smoltz is out. Tex is traded. Tim Hudson is out for the season after his Tommy John's surgery. Skip Caray died. What. The. Hell. We are cursed. It is official.

Do work.